His Promises
by tessnotbess
Summary: John's thoughts when the tornado rips through the church. What would he do if it meant Natalie would be okay? Set in May 2006.


A/N: I'm back internet friends! So I know I kinda dropped off the planet for a little bit and then I had to catch up on all the wonderful things you wonderful people posted. In addition, I'm working on something big. Like really big. So pretty please with sugar on top, keep updating your stories so the Muse stays on task :P

So I don't think it's a surprise anymore but my favorite Jolie time was 2006. At that point I had been watching long enough to know what was going on and I was also new enough that the story line just enthralled me. This is so inspired by TdeAlba's The Sky Was Falling, which focuses on Natalie's thoughts when the tornado happens. In my story, I focus on John's thoughts. And if I had a top ten Jolie moments list, some of these lines would be on that list. Because let's be honest, you get the feels whenever watch these scenes. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Dialogue taken from the show.

"NATALIE" he cried out over and over again. He couldn't see her, it was too dark, and the ceiling had been ripped clear off of the building. But surely he'd be able to see her bright red hair, even through the darkness. The face that he hadn't seen a trace of it yet scared him more than he'd be willing to admit, and he was forced just to follow his gut. It had led him to her before, and he was sure he could do it again. But if he didn't-

There it was, the red hair he loved seeing so much. He moved the rubble so she was no longer covered. He said her name over and over again, convincing himself she was okay, and finally, it seemed he could take more than a shallow breath.

"You're going to be okay" he said, and then his hand touched something wet and sticky. He looked down, saw how much she was bleeding. His throat constricted, he was back to hardly breathing, "Natalie" he whispered. There was so much blood, there was too much blood.

When she came to, it hurt him to see how much pain she was in. He put pressure on her leg, a vain attempt to stop the bleeding. She writhed in more pain.

"John" she cried, "you can't keep your hand there. You can't hold my life in your hands"

"I can" he told her, "I am"

It was just a shame she didn't yet know, how far he would go to make sure she was alright. He'd cut off his own leg and give it to her if he thought that would help. Sadly, the only thing he could do was to try to stop the bleeding, as futile as that effort was right now. She started whimpering less, and he hoped that meant the pain was easing up and not that blood loss was starting to affect her.

"Please don't let me die John" she begged him.

The words tugged at his heart. He would do anything to stop that from happening, yet at the same time he knew it was out of his control. He had no right to make that promise, but it didn't stop him.

"I don't have any plans to" he told her, meeting her eyes so she would believe him, "I'm going to stay with you until help gets here. You hold onto that, I'm going to hold onto you"

He'd hold onto her as long as she'd let him. He felt horrible lying to her about the paramedics coming any minute, but the best he could do was hope for a miracle. He tried to distract her, retold her of their first night together, anything to get her mind off of the pain she was facing right now.

"Nothing can touch you, Natalie. Nothing can touch you"

He had so longed to touch her again. She had every right to tell him to back off, and he had listened, giving her the space she wanted, the space he had driven between them. But that didn't stop him from wanting her. Of course his wish would be fulfilled in such a twisted way, that life would throw them together in such an extreme circumstance yet again. Here he was, all but groping her leg and hoping he could make the bleeding stop. He'd always held such a fondness for her legs. They were soft and smooth, long enough to make his heart beat a little faster when she dressed up. They always seemed so delicate, but he knew when they locked around him how powerful they really were. And here he was, not moving his hand off of her thigh for anything. Her perfect leg with a large gash through it. He felt her body relax, and looked back at her face. She was out.

"Help us God" he pleaded, "Help us"

He had long since stopped asking God for help. He felt he didn't need it. Always believed he should help himself first, and he'd been doing pretty good so far. But he'd do anything right now if meant getting Natalie to wake up. He'd make a deal with the Devil himself if it meant seeing her eyes again.

"Stay with me Natalie" he said, keeping one hand on her cut and using the other to caress her face, "Stay with me" he yelled, feeling himself lose it.

She was still out of it. She wasn't opening her eyes. As a fed and cop, he'd seen plenty of people try to bargain with God when a loved one was near death. He never understood, never though it would make a difference.

She still wasn't awake.

And he started bargaining away his worthless life.

God, if she wakes up I swear I'll change. He silently pleaded.

I'll go to church every Sunday.

I'll pray every night.

I'll call my mom.

I'll be a better brother to Michael.

I'll convince Natalie to give me another chance.

I'll show her its worth it.

I'll toss my dad's case.

I'll put Natalie first.

I'll never lie to her again.

I'll kiss her goodnight every night.

I'll make sure she never goes to bed alone.

I'll take her on a real date.

I'll take her on a vacation.

I'll never let her go again.

I'll tell her how much I need her.

I'll tell her how much she means to me.

I'll tell her I love her.

At that thought, he knew exactly what he had to do. He'd never believed in fairy tales, and by no means did he think of himself as a prince. But Natalie was a princess in her own right, and if believed nothing else, he believed he loved her far more than any storybook could ever explain. He kissed her with all he had. And the second he felt her respond, his brain told him to stop, but he couldn't help himself for hanging on a little longer. When he pulled back, her eyes opened and his heart swelled.

"I'm still here" he told her.

"So am I"

And he had never been so happy to hear three words in all his life.

"You're going to be alright, Natalie" he said, as much for his benefit as for hers, "We're calling the paramedics. I'm going to keep pressure on your wound until they get here. You're going to be alright" he told her.

If only saying it enough times would make it true. He watched her shiver, hoping it was from the kiss, but he knew. It wasn't that cold, even though her dress left most of her uncovered, the blood loss was probably the cause of her chills. And they still hadn't made it through to 911.

"How are Cris and Evangeline?" she asked.

That was Natalie. She was practically on her death-bed, and there she was, worried about everyone else. To be honest, he'd half forgotten about the other two trapped in here, all that had mattered was that Natalie was hurt and that she needed him. If Cris hadn't been the one with the cell phone, he doubt he would have cared at all.

"They're good. I think they're good. Everyone's going to be fine"

"And help is on the way?"

"they'll be here any minute"

He lied through his teeth. And a voice in the back of his head chided him for doing so. After all, he'd promised he'd never lie to her again. But he wasn't about to let her believe they could be trapped here til morning or longer.

"Has the pain eased up any?" he asked.

"yeah. that anesthesia you gave me was some pretty strong stuff"

Lord, he admired her strength, "Yeah, well, you let know if you need another dose"

"You're always there to take care of me, aren't you?" she asked him.

He couldn't believe she was serious. She had so much faith him. Even after all he'd done to her, she still believed in him. For the pain he'd cause her, how could she still believe in him? After how awful he'd been to her over the past few weeks and months, he couldn't fathom how she though he always took care of her.

"Not so much lately, but I'm working on changing that"

He would change that. If she'd let him, he'd be there for her, every chance he got. If she survived this, he'd make good on his bargain with God, every single one of them. Her shivering got worse, and he took his jacket off, laid it down on her as a blanket. Cris asked how she was, and he immediately told him she doing good.

"You're a lousy liar McBain" she whispered.

She could always call his bluff. He was just surprised she hadn't called it sooner. After all, he'd been lying to her and himself this whole time. Suddenly, Cris was screaming. He'd finally gotten through.

"You hear that?" he said, and then he whispered a thank you to God for listening.

"This must be a record for you, McBain"

"Yeah, how's that?"

"sitting still for so long, you must be going out of your mind"

She had no idea, did she? How crazy his mind had gone when she wasn't awake. How desperate he grew for her to wake up. Comparatively speaking, he was the picture of mental health compared to that moment, "I was earlier when I thought you weren't going to wake up" he said, and she almost looked like she was going to apologize for worrying him. His heart swelled for her, and he figured maybe it was time to start making good on those promises, "You know you said it a lot of times before, but I guess I was too stubborn to listen" he started, and didn't know how to continue.

"What did I say?"

"You and me, we're pretty good together, you know?" and the voice in his brain screamed to tell her he loved her, "I guess" he paused, and chickened out, "I guess what I'm asking for is the chance to prove it, and this time I promise I'll come through"

Before she had the chance to respond, the paramedics arrived. John greeted them, told them the situation. Finally, he took a deep breath. He showed two of the guys Natalie, told them what had happened and what he'd done.

"You did good, we'll take it from here"

"you do what you got to do, but I'm not leaving her side" Not now, not ever. Not after he'd almost lost her for good. He rested his hand on her shoulder, and immediately, she leaned into it. Such a simple gesture, but it won him over all over again. No, he wouldn't leave her side. Not this time.

The ride to the hospital had been a rough one, and Natalie had gone in and out of it a few times, but the paramedics assured him she was okay. He didn't let go of her hand until they reached the hospital. Michael was on call, and selfishly he was glad. Michael took care of Natalie himself, with John standing right behind him the whole time. Once he knew she was okay, Michael told him he had to get checked out.  
"

I just need a minute with her" he said.

"And then you're getting yourself checked out"

John never got himself checked out, and he saw to it that he didn't leave Natalie's bedside until she opened her eyes. He fixed her bedding, tucking her in. He didn't want to be reminded of what he'd almost lost tonight, and he didn't want her to see the large and obtrusive wrap on her leg when she woke up either. He held her hand, ran a finger through her hair and grazed her beautiful face.

"You were right all along" he told her. And she was, about everything. All the times she said he loved her, and he'd never admit to it. That all changed once she'd open her eyes again. He swore it would. She was in his life again, and he knew he had to keep her there. If true love was ever in the cards for him, he was looking at it, and intended to never let her go.


End file.
